“Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.” – Psalm 51:10
Some truth that came to me in courtesy of my online church message “Your past doesn’t define you; it doesn’t prevent God’s plan for your life.”
Let me repeat that one more time for you: Your past doesn’t define you; it doesn’t prevent God’s plan for your life.
While I logically know this to be true something about your pastor speaking this to you verbally makes the world of difference.
I have been so afraid that during the times that I wasn’t living as Godly as one would expect that I had somehow ruined my destiny. Writing that sentence makes my skin crawl right now because upon entering a deep connection with God that is not how He works.
Our God is loving, graceful, forgiving, and tender. There is nothing that we can do to lose our salvation. In the scripture we see time and time again that people who are broken being used in the most amazing ways. That when we seek God for healing and forgiveness, He is quick to forgive.
He works in our lives even when we are not working or can’t see it. If you are familiar with worship music that always makes me think of the song “Way Maker” by Leeland. This has been so relevant that even my targeted advertising recommends this in some form or fashion ALL THE TIME.
Even when I don’t see it, you’re workin’
Even when I don’t feel it, you’re workin’
You never stop, you never stop workin’
You never stop, Jesus you are
Way maker, miracle worker
Promise keeper, light in the darkness
My God, that is who you are
This has been 100% something the past year has shown me, and specifically in this current season of life. I turned from God, but it brought me to my new home in NYC. He worked in my heart when I wasn’t even seeking Him and brought me to my church family that changed my life forever.
I would not be here today able to feel God calling me to international missions without the things this past year has done for me. God took me from the comfort of my life in Texas, from my support system and challenged me to become the leader (follower of Jesus) that I needed to be in order to go on The World Race.
He has moved in ways that I never thought imaginable. I did not think that I would be leaving New York so soon after arriving here. I full intend on coming back upon completion of the race, but I am also obeying God. He may not call me back to New York, but I know that this Race is going to bring me closer to him.
He has been hard at work healing my scars, clearing my slate clean and showing me grace. He has been showing me His grace and teaching me to give myself grace and helping me live freer and moving forward without regard to my past. My past doesn’t define me. I am redeemed through a loving gracious God. He has renewed my spirit and that is something only He can do.
