Authentically His

When I heard that God calls us to live life together it has always been easy for me to immediately think of a romantic relationship. However, this season post-divorce has taught me what authentic friendships are. That friendship is where true love can lie. I used to feel that I had a hard time connecting to people. That I was never really seen. It was this belief that I held deep to my heart. It started when I was young and was a coping mechanism to prevent people from hurting me by leaving. Then when I went to college and got involved with a college ministry I felt like no one really cared about me. I fell into a depression that stuck around for several years. When I stopped showing up and no one reached out to see what was up I took that as validation that no one knew me and they did not care (which was not the case).

So when I moved to a new city where I knew NO ONE and unsure how to make real friends I was terrified. You see moving to the city is something that I have wanted to do for as long as I can remember. So while I was reeling over the fact it was coming true the idea of not being seen kept coming back. Now its been a little over a year when Jesus met me down on the pier at 2 am. He hugged me and met me where I was in my brokenness and feeling so lost. He told me that He loved me. That I was His daughter and that I was right where He wanted me to be. That was the first moment that I knew I needed to get serious about my relationship with Jesus. Over the next several months since that I night I got rebaptized, I met some of my closest wisest friends and I learned what living a life surrendered over to God could look like. Now don’t get me wrong I am not perfect and there are still days that I struggle. Through the relationship with Jesus, I learned that to have authentic, deep loving friendships that I needed to also be authentic. I never imagined that God would completely change me at that moment. That the friendships that I am currently growing and so so thankful for are just another way that He shows me that I am loved. That I am SEEN.

Now that I am moving back to Texas I can feel a little fear. The enemy is attacking trying to keep me from what God has planned. I am learning now what it means to fight under spiritual attack with the HELP from other believers. I know that others also struggle with this idea of being seen, heard, and known. I pray that God meets you in your pain and comforts you. I pray that you can feel overwhelming peace knowing that He loves you and His graces covers you. That people do love you, see you, and know you. Something I have felt heavy on my heart is being there authentically for people. Growing and caring. I would love to have coffee (in person or virtual) and get to know you. You are not meant to do life alone.